There is a gender riot in skepticism. You've noticed, right? OK, well, I'll just give you the keywords instead of a synopsis, and move on to some clarification for those who are having a problem coming to grips with this: Rebecca Watson, elevator, 4 A.M., Richard Dawkins. That should be enough for you to catch up if you haven't noticed this situation yet.
It strikes me that this whole long conversation (argument? Sure) rolls right out of the same cognitive malfunction that creates so many of the problems that drive skepticism. People have to interpret the actions and behaviors of others, and that is difficult. Rebecca was put in an uncomfortable situation, and had to evaluate the other person present. Does this mean the man in the elevator did anything morally wrong, comparable with genital mutilation? Of course not. The wrong here isn't a moral wrong against an entire gender; it was a socially incorrect move that should have been avoided.
Fellow men, let me explain. This is subtle.
Context and behavior matter. When you interact with another person, say in what we will politely call a courtship interaction, you, Generic Man, will not be told in small, simple words exactly what your social partner thinks or desires. You must interpret her (his, whatever, I'm sticking with her because that's where we're running into trouble) words and behaviors in context. The context is huge. It includes your location, your other company in the area, the social history between you, your mood, her mood, your previous experience in life...I could go on.
Here's the subtle meta-game you should be playing: you should consider the possible ways she is interpreting your behavior through context. This man’s specific behavior and choice of environment were pretty much the worst context he could have created, and while he may not have been a real threat, it was his failure to see how it could look potentially threatening that caused this.
It may not even be the case that Rebecca seriously thought, "Oh crap, he might rape me." It is enough that he simply gave the impression that he did not understand how to properly interact socially in that context. If he's incorrect enough about how one should behave that he thought this was a good way to present himself, there is no good way for one to evaluate his potential next move.
Rebecca was being cautious and that behavior was legitimately creepy. It would be irresponsible for her not to turn him down as gently as she could and get out of there. Then, she asked people to consider the way that a person at the other end of their advances will interpret their behavior. That’s all, and she was right. Not everything you do is a potential assault, but you should consider whether it might look that way, say for instance at 4 in the morning, drunk, in a confined place.
It strikes me that this whole long conversation (argument? Sure) rolls right out of the same cognitive malfunction that creates so many of the problems that drive skepticism. People have to interpret the actions and behaviors of others, and that is difficult. Rebecca was put in an uncomfortable situation, and had to evaluate the other person present. Does this mean the man in the elevator did anything morally wrong, comparable with genital mutilation? Of course not. The wrong here isn't a moral wrong against an entire gender; it was a socially incorrect move that should have been avoided.
Fellow men, let me explain. This is subtle.
Context and behavior matter. When you interact with another person, say in what we will politely call a courtship interaction, you, Generic Man, will not be told in small, simple words exactly what your social partner thinks or desires. You must interpret her (his, whatever, I'm sticking with her because that's where we're running into trouble) words and behaviors in context. The context is huge. It includes your location, your other company in the area, the social history between you, your mood, her mood, your previous experience in life...I could go on.
Here's the subtle meta-game you should be playing: you should consider the possible ways she is interpreting your behavior through context. This man’s specific behavior and choice of environment were pretty much the worst context he could have created, and while he may not have been a real threat, it was his failure to see how it could look potentially threatening that caused this.
It may not even be the case that Rebecca seriously thought, "Oh crap, he might rape me." It is enough that he simply gave the impression that he did not understand how to properly interact socially in that context. If he's incorrect enough about how one should behave that he thought this was a good way to present himself, there is no good way for one to evaluate his potential next move.
Rebecca was being cautious and that behavior was legitimately creepy. It would be irresponsible for her not to turn him down as gently as she could and get out of there. Then, she asked people to consider the way that a person at the other end of their advances will interpret their behavior. That’s all, and she was right. Not everything you do is a potential assault, but you should consider whether it might look that way, say for instance at 4 in the morning, drunk, in a confined place.
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